Childhood is usually a time of carefree innocence and infinite dreams. However, not everyone gets to experience it like this. Especially children who are abandoned by society, leaving them with no good memories.
The impact of an unstable childhood can make it hard to grow up, love, and live one’s life fully. Such children become socially immature people, refusing to become adults and feeling unequipped to navigate the complexities of grown-up life. In pop psychology, they call it the Peter Pan Syndrome, and Ben Marney calls such individuals “A Troubled Child,” which is also the name of his book.
How Abandonment Can Trigger Peter-Pan Syndrome?
Imagine a six-year-old boy woken up in the middle of the night. Without explanation, he is taken from his only known home and dropped into another. New faces. New rules. No sense of stability.
What could have been the reason?
That child blames themselves. “Why wasn’t I good enough to stay?” By the time they are 14, it happens again—another house, another heartbreak. The cycle continues, and each move takes away a little more trust and a little more hope.
This was Lincoln West’s childhood, the protagonist of A Troubled Child.
In Ben Marney’s book, Lincoln’s foster care journey was a painful experience for him. Abandoned at birth, shuffled between families, at sixteen, he didn’t know what it meant to feel safe or loved.
He also felt his past wasn’t really a good sign for a brighter future either. It was a burden he dragged with him, altering how he viewed himself until he was put into Jessie and Riley’s care. They were a young couple with enough energy to put up with everything Lincoln was facing internally and exhibiting externally.
A Troubled Child’s Transition into Adulthood
As Lincoln steps into his adult life, it is clear his troubled childhood still influenced his decisions, even as he appears to find his footing. He married Annie, the love of his life, and built a successful construction company. But the boy who once felt unloved still lived within him, hiding in the shadows.
When Annie passed away from COVID-19, the weight of Lincoln’s unresolved pain came crashing down. The cracks in his carefully constructed adult life split open. He ran, not just from his grief but from the home they built, the life they shared, and even the people who cared for them. The cycle of running had been ingrained in him since childhood. It was always easier to leave than to confront the hurt.
How the Past Loiters
Lincoln’s struggle speaks to all of us, but we rarely have the strength to convey it. For those carrying the baggage of an unstable upbringing, adulthood can feel impossible. Relationships are hard to maintain when you don’t trust that others will stay. Success feels fleeting when you’re haunted by a voice whispering, “You’re not good enough.”
This is what Peter Pan Syndrome often looks like: not an unwillingness to grow up, but a fear of doing so without a solid foundation.
The Power of Love and Second Chances
And yet, Lincoln’s story doesn’t end in despair. At his lowest point, he finds his way back to the foster parents who once gave him love and stability, Jessie and Riley.
Jessie is now terminally ill, but his love for Lincoln is still the same. While dealing with his illness, Jessie reminds Lincoln of something he lost sight of:
“Love doesn’t leave. It evolves, heals, and sometimes lingers long after you think it’s gone.”
Jessie’s final wish is that Lincoln cares for Riley after his passing, which gives Lincoln a new sense of purpose. For the first time, Lincoln stops running. He faces his grief, accepts the responsibility of love, and begins to rebuild his life.
Through his book, A Troubled Child, Ben Marney teaches us the importance of healing. He tells us it’s never too late to find hope again.
It is complicated to forget a troubled past, but it is not entirely impossible. The real magic of adulthood lies in choice: the ability to decide, every day, who we want to be despite what’s behind us.
For Lincoln, stepping into adulthood meant confronting his pain and accepting love—even when it felt too late. For you, it might mean forgiving yourself, seeking help, or finally daring to believe in your worth.
Read A Troubled Child here.
